13 Ağustos 2009, Perşembe
saat: 04:41
it's always there in the back of my mind. my thoughts seem to always find their way to the same stuff. i go through days, and it's like living a double life.
although things that i want to cling to seem more far away, hazier now. it's as if i feel that i don't deserve it anymore, i turned my back on it and there shouldn't be any more going back.
i am jealous.
there is never anybody to talk to about what i want to say.
fretting when i have the energy, either inwards or outwards. rarely outwards nowadays.
i am getting more upset than usual about little things that i don't get now. maybe a side-effect of a year-long dose of the same.
i went to bed more than an hour ago, 'early'. look where it got me.
