19 Ekim 2009, Pazartesi
saat: 22:15
Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean that they are not out to get you.
Pretty much the story of my life.
It really started out in high school. I had this crush on the ugly duckling. I asked one my friends to help out with that and it ended up with them starting to go out behind my back. Yeah, that was fun. Except not.
It kind of happened again but that was slightly less depressing. I didn't have the biggest crush or anything, more like "dude, she's kind of interesting". Ended up the same way, pretty much. I honestly never cared, I might have even went to the movies and such with them a few times, as the weird third wheel.
Now what happened in college pretty much fucked me up for the rest of my life as I know it since now. Not going into details on that (yeah, sorry about not indulging you on your voyeuristic whims). In a nutshell, I got cheated on when she was supposed to go out on a dinner with this guy. Kind of got over it, I guess. Not sure if I ever did. Probably not. We did continue dating though.
Now the part that got me was when my then gf started her work and met this guy. It amazingly took her 3 days to sleep with him (conveniently after us making plans for my grad school and all). Fun fun fun.
I guess that changed me. And I'm paranoid. I worry too much about losing people to others because I expect people to just act on their wishes at the expense of other's sanity and well-meaning trust.
And weirdly, in fact, most people don't do it. But some do.
It's a hard statistical problem, if you think about it. It happens probably less than half of the time but when it does, it's fucking spectacular.
And also.
I do believe that he likes her. I'm not going to mention that ever again but I know I am right. That's all. And she'll eat her words.
I am a guy. Guys know each other.
