28 Ekim 2009, Çarşamba
saat: 03:07
i'm certainly one of olds' rats.
funny thing is, my reward pathway has already stopped rewarding me. it doesn't matter how many times i press the level - i just don't enjoy it. i don't know why i keep doing this, though. (the last one was about half an hour ago!) it feels as if it would get back to normal at some point, and i'm waiting for that. it's more like "fake it till you make it" stuff..and i'm sure it won't take long. perhaps one or two lifetimes.
"you have to pat them a bit and make them think that you're fond of them", instructed dulles. and that was eisenhower's latin american policy.
is that what you have in mind?
mental toil. that's the real exercise. no harder work than mental toil.
