29 Ocak 2010, Cuma
saat: 15:40
The filters that I use give me an excuse...
It has been such a long time since I felt exactly like this. Should I thank you for doing that? Preventing it for a bit over 2.5 years? Maybe I should be the optimist and hold onto the idea that you might have saved me from myself and I needed all the shit we went through. I didn't lie when I said I wish I had never met you, bastard. But dear bastard, I never said i wasn't worth it. It was worth my time. I just don't want to remember it. Nothing from it. I don't want to cry about it or smile at it fondly. How can I be fond of what is lost? I can't. A big fuck you and a kiss to send it off... In the air ofcourse. Had I met you, had I allowed a proper goodbye it would end me. At least for a little while. Take so much longer to stop feeling like rat shit. Hopefully I have offended you enough to stop you calling me 'baby'. No more 'goodnight baby'. No more 'baby'.
I've lost my physical diary with one recent entry in it... A terrible entry indeed... If found, please don't return.
