21 Þubat 2010, Pazar
saat: 06:30
This has been a rough month with approaching midterms, stress over spring break plans, and the most demanding Political Science professor known to mankind. As if they were not enough, apparently Break Up Season has officially begun, and as a result my best friend constantly finds herself in varying degrees of ending her relationship!
Since we returned from winter break, I have been in red alert nurturing mode for my dearest roomie. My phone, which usually I can never even find, is on uber loud at all hours so I can be there for the melt-downs at all times. I have to make sure that I have all the things done before a new crisis, so that we can go to shopping or spend the night by talking about how much we hate the boys, while eating a big box of Ben&Jerry's Cookie Dough.
Of course I have absolutely no problem taking care of her, but seeing her raw pain over a break up is heart wrenching for me. It makes me flash back to how upset I was when I broke up with my raison d'etre. I had never understood before why some people became so upset over a break up -then it happened to me, and I collapsed for way longer than I’d care to admit, and sometimes I still don’t know how I survived that. I guess I was just lucky to have the best friends in the world; otherwise I would’ve long gone insane.
Seeing this pattern in Gulce's life makes me not want to ever talk any male ever again, let alone date one. I’m not usually the cynical, bitter type, but I do not ever want to be in a position to be hurt like that again.
You know how people say that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? Well, the mood I am in tonight makes me want to punch those people. Because when you’ve never fallen for a guy, you don’t know what you’re missing out on. Now I look back on that ignorance as bliss. At least, it's way better than heartache.
