21 Nisan 2010, Çarşamba
saat: 18:31
I've always believed that change is a good thing. It can take you out of your comfort zone and introduce you to new people, new places, and new experiences that you would never have known otherwise. I'm all for change, really I am, just not when that change removes me from my carefree lifestyle of afternoon classes, friends, parties, and little to no responsibilities.
Oh, yes, college is probably the best four years of my life -especially now, with only three short weeks left of it, I have no doubts about that. I do what I want, when I want, with whom I want. Sure, I've definitely had some stressful times, like when I pulled three all-nighters in a row so I could finish my 30-page final paper; but looking at the the grand scheme of things, it has been always awesome. Actually, awesome doesn't even begin to describe it. I'm not sure there’s even a word. It's been...well..awe-quite-a-lot.
But like all good things, it’s all about to end. And the mere thought is enough to make me sick.
Still waiting for good news, this is the first time in my life that I don't have a plan. And I'm a to-do-list kind of girl. I usually need some sort of goal or purpose or I start to feel antsy. But I literally have no idea what I will be doing after graduation, and I am simply paralyzed with fear.
It doesn't help that most of my friends have been already accepted to grad schools (however craptacular they are!) and, with that, they have a sense of security that I don't have. They know where they will be in August. They know what is coming and what to expect. They know their future addresses and perhaps even their route to and from campus. All I know is that my address may not be a Florida one.
This is just too much for me to handle.
