30 Temmuz 2010, Cuma
saat: 05:17
My mind is out of sanity, I'm heading to insanity, now I took my face between my hands, and thinking where I am, what I am, why this song makes me remember that much.
I never queried my existence, I'm happy to be, and happy to live. I'm still waiting to grow up, but I'm already grown up, that makes me fearful, 'cause I'm going nowhere, counting the days at my chair, since my 16, that's what I'm doing.
I was afraid when I became 18, "I was too big", "I wasn't a child anymore", and now, I'm 23 and there's no turning back from here. Now I'm an "adult" in every state.
I just can't believe I'm on my own. I have no power to become my "old" self, you've lost me, I've lost myself.
Understanding the disease doesn't brings any cure. I want to be my own medicine, but I have no brain left to save myself.
For the first time in my life, I need help, I need someone to save me.
Hep duyduğum "Tasukete kudasai" haykırışını şimdi ben gerçekleştirmek istiyorum.
Aslında kendime sesleniyorum, bu yazdıklarım kimseye değil, içimde bir yerlerde kaybolan benliğimi yeniden bulmam gerek.
